Shot through the heart, and your to blame, darling
You give love a bad name

I was never a particularly confident person. I wasn’t that pretty, and I wasn’t that smart. I spent my whole life thinking I was a nobody until I met him. He made me feel like I mattered. He made me feel like a million dollars. He completely turned my life around. In the worst way imaginable. He had this unexplainable power over me… like a magic hold. I wanted to break loose, but I couldn’t seem to. He played mind games with me, and he hurt me so much, I can’t even being to explain. It took me so long to learn to trust again after I ended things with him. I needed to learn not to fall so hard or so fast, but it was easier said than done. I’d been hurt enough times in my life, and I’d had enough. I thought it was all over for me until I met . He helped me turn it all around, and I still can’t quite believe my life is so good. He makes me feel safe, and I don’t know what it is about him, but I trusted him before I even got to know him. He’s just that kind of guy, so open and so friendly, but he’s not pushy. He gave me the space I needed, and that’s one of the things I love about him. He knows what I want or need without even having to ask. It’s a long story, and I guess I have to tell it from the beginning for you to understand.

was someone I’d dreamt of meeting, but also the type I didn’t think existed. It was like something out of a fairytale the first time I met him. Actually, it was closer to something out of a comedy show. I was wandering the streets with snot running down my face, still upset about my break up with he who shall not be named (and no, I don’t mean Voldermort) when I bumped into him. It was love at first sight...at least on my part. I highly doubt it was for him, after all I looked terrible. We spoke for a while, and he bought me a coffee. I recognised him from somewhere, but it wasn’t until I got home and looked at my bedroom wall – covered in posters of him and the band - that I realised who I’d spent the whole day with. That wasn’t the big shock though. I’d always thought that celebrities were stuck up, but he wasn’t like that. He was down to earth and friendly. He made me feel happy – something I hadn’t felt in a long while.

Our first date was weird. Cute, but weird. I half expected some posh restaurant, where I would feel completely out of place, but we ended up going to the pub. It was a nice change, even though I did joke that he’d have a hard time getting me drunk if that was his aim. I don’t think he believed me or took me seriously. That was the cute part. The weird part was that at the end of the date, he didn’t try to invite himself in or anything. I’d gotten so used to men doing that, I was preparing myself to push him away. All I got was a kiss, and it wasn’t a full on kiss. It was just a peck, but enough to leave me wanting more. I very nearly invited him in myself, but I thought that under the circumstances, that wouldn’t be a very good idea. After all, it was our first date, and I had posters of him all over the house. I needed to clear those away before I invited him in, or it might never move past the first date. We said goodnight and I stood at the door, watching him retreat until he was out of sight. I closed the door and smiled to myself.

The next few dates weren’t too different. They all consisted of us going out somewhere, walking me home like a perfect gentleman and then making his own way home. I don’t think he even saw the inside of my house until we’d been on at least 6 or 7 dates. After that, I don’t think he saw the outside of it all that much. It was the only place we could get away from the noise of the outside world. The press couldn’t hound us, nobody would run after us in the street, asking for his autograph and threatening to kill me if I didn’t end things with him. I had no intention of breaking up with him. I hadn’t been this happy for years, and I wanted to enjoy it. If the relationship wasn’t made to last, we’d let it end naturally, and enjoy our time together while we could.

Maybe the wedding could have been a bit more private, but I guess celebrities don’t really get much privacy. Their whole lives are everybody’s business. Apart from that, it was a perfect day. I loved every minute of it. Our friends and family were there, a few other showbiz friends, and that was about it really. I didn’t want an extravagant wedding, I was just happy to be marrying the man of my dreams. The next morning, I wrote a letter to my ex. I don’t know if it was the right thing to do, but it felt right at the time. I made sure he knew I was happy, I was over him, and I didn’t need him anymore. I was my own person, I was with someone who loved me and respected me. The end of the letter? ‘Shot through the heart, and you’re to blame. Darling, you give love a bad name.’ Once you’ve been through something like that, your life seems so much harder. It seems impossible to pick up the pieces and carry on, and I’m sure that if I hadn’t met , I wouldn’t be telling my story now. At 22, I was a junkie that was too close to death for my liking. At 23, I was on top of the world and it’s all thanks to one man. He gave me a new lease of life. I owe him the world for that.