Part 1

“ , can you please hurry up with the bathroom. You’ve been in there for ages and I’m bursting.” I rolled my eyes as my brother shouted from the other side of the door and continued to apply my makeup. “ , now would be nice.” “Yeah, in a minute.” “No, now! Or I swear, I will pee in your room.” I unlocked the door and flew out of the bathroom, ruffling his hair. “You dare and watch what will happen to you!” “Thanks sis!” He didn’t even wait for me to reply, rushing into the bathroom and locking the door. I shook my head a laughed at his stupidity. Well, here we go again. Another day of completely ignoring . It was weird, but ever since his friends had started coming round to our house after school for practice, I’d noticed a change in him. It was like he was trying to get one up on me for the way I treated him in school. He just didn’t understand that it wasn’t my choice. I had to be that way.

I carefully picked out my outfit for the day, making sure that everything was co-ordinated. That was another one of the many rules I had to follow. You HAVE to co-ordinate. If you don’t, it’s like social suicide. “ , you can take the car today, I’ll walk.” “It’s fine, I’m meeting the guys, and I’ll be staying late tonight so don’t wait up.” “You’re going out again?” “Yeah, problem?” “No. I just wanted to spend some time with you that’s all.” “ , I don’t mean this to come out sounding horrible, but you can’t pick when you want me to be your brother. At school, you don’t even wave, so you’ve got no right telling me you want to spend some time with me. You know where I usually am, if you need to see me that badly, feel free to drop by.” “You know I can’t do that.” “I didn’t think so. By the way, is staying over tonight.” “No he’s not!” “I’ve already asked mum and she said its fine, so he’s staying.” “Fine! Just stay away from me.” “Why? You wouldn’t happen to like him would you?” “Are you being serious?” “You do! Oh dear, what would your friends say?” “ , don’t say anything, please.” “What’s it worth?” “I’ll do your share of the housework for a week.” “A month!” “Two weeks, and that’s my final offer.” “Sold.” We shook on it and made our way to the front door. “I can’t believe you like . He’s like…he’s .” “Yeah, nice one Sherlock. I told you to keep quiet.” “Sorry. See you after school sis.” I got into the drivers seat and stuck my tongue out at him as he ran off in the opposite direction to meet and the other guys.

“ , what is up with you? You’re, like, five minutes late.” “ , I really don’t think that’s any of your business.” “ , she can’t speak to me like that. Tell her!” He simply laughed and pushed his oh so stunning yet oh so annoyingly stupid girlfriend away from him. “Honey, she’s got a point. You don’t need to know where she is every minute of her life.”

appeared to have lost all interest in the conversation and was now shooting dirty looks at someone behind me. “Loser alert.” I turned around to see and walking in. made a point of looking straight at me before walking into the bench and falling flat on his face. “See, I told you. He’s a total loser, you need to, like, ditch him or something . He’s seriously bad for your reputation.” “What?” “It’s not good for people to know that you two are related. It’s, like, so…not good.” “ , I know that you and your little gang don’t think much of him or his friends, but that’s my brother you’re talking about. I can’t just ‘ditch him’, and quite frankly, I don’t want to.” I got up, slamming my bag onto the table and making her jump. “I don’t want to be involved in this anymore. You’ve had your fun, it’s over now. Just leave him alone or you’ll have me to answer to. , wait up.”

I ran to catch up with them, getting some funny looks from the people in the corridors, who were all stepping aside as I walked. “Where’s the rest of the gang today?” “They’re…I don’t know, floating away on some distant island for all I care. Are you going to be in the music room at lunch?” “He gave me a look as if to say ‘well, duh, where else would I be?’ “Ok, drop the attitude. It really doesn’t suit you. I’ll see you there, I’m going to be late for class.” “Bye.” “Yeah. Bye .” I laughed as the two of them stood in the middle of the corridor with looks of complete and utter confusion on their faces. “Did that just happen?” “I dunno. Your sister actually knows my name. That is seriously weird, dude.” “No, dude. You’re seriously weird.” “Why?” “Er…cos you like my sister. She’s like the vainest, most annoying creature on the planet.” “I didn’t say I like her.” “You didn’t have to.” “Is it that obvious?” “Not to her. She’s a total airhead. You could tell her to her face that you like her, and she’d still look at you blankly.”

Part 2

I sat through my lessons, completely dying of boredom. I couldn’t wait until our lunch break; I needed to get out of here. School was driving me mad. Before I could even consider going to speak to , I had to sort things out with and the rest of my friends. It didn’t matter that we had differing points of view when it came to my brother; I still needed to stay on their good side to avoid a similar fate. The bell rang and everyone in the class jumped up, not even bothering to wait for the teacher to dismiss us. I made my way straight to the benches I usually sat at. After several minutes, came and sat down next to me. “ ’s on her way.” “Cool.” “You decided to join us then?” “Actually, I’m just here to apologise for this morning. I over-reacted a bit, and I’m sorry. I just don’t like it when you talk about him like that, he’s my brother.” “Yeah, unfortunately. Have you seen the way that joke of a friend he’s always hanging around with is always staring at you? It’s creepy.” “You mean ? Oh, I wouldn’t pay attention to him. He’s a bit weird at first, but he’s a real sweetheart under it all.” “ , what the hell is up with you? He’s one of them!” “He’s a friend, ok. Just grow up . I left that petty behaviour in primary school, it’s a shame you didn’t. See you later .” I picked my bag up and stalked away angrily, stamping my feet.

“ , it’s me. Is it ok to come in?” “Yeah, just hurry up. We’re on a roll.” I walked in and sat down on one of the desks, flinging my bag across the other. “So what’s up guys? I’m , but you can call me .” “Is that supposed to make us feel special or something?” “ , stop being such a rude git. That’s my sister you’re talking to!” “Yeah, I know. I spent most of my high school life being bullied by her and her gang.” “So did me and , we don’t seem to have a problem.” “That’s because she’s your sister, and he fancies the pants off her.” “ !” “Oh, sorry mate. I forgot, she’s not supposed to find out. My bad.” “Well, I don’t really have a problem with it either. She’s not with them now so…” “Thank you , at least some of us are talking sense. By the way, the last guy’s .” “It’s nice to meet you all. What are you playing, ?” “The song you helped me with the other day.” “Cool. Let’s hear it then.”

When I go to sleep I pray
I'm waking up to I got you babe
Like the guy from Groundhog Day
Just wanna live forever this way
Flash back to seventeen
Got my ass kicked by the football team
Another Loser on the scene
Every guy with a chick I fancy

“ , what’s your problem. You keep playing the wrong part.” “Oh, lay off him . It’s a hard part to learn.” “Well, why don’t you show him how it’s done then, seeing as you’re obviously so brilliant.” “Maybe I will. Can I?” He nodded and handed the to me. I confidently played the piece, then handed the back to him and took a bow as they watched in shock. “When did you learn to play like that?” “I’ve been playing for ages, I just kind of gave up on it when we moved.” “Well, you’re pretty good. I take back what I said earlier.” “Does that mean doesn’t fancy the pants off me?” “I don’t know, that’s his business.”

I spent the rest of the day with them, talking about music, guitars, drums and whatever else came up as a topic. By the end of the school day, even was warming to me. I hadn’t missed my ‘usual’ friends at all. In fact I hadn’t even stopped to think about them once. As I walked back home with the guys, I felt the smile bursting to break out. I hadn’t realised that they were so much fun, I’d never given them a chance before. “ ! Give me my phone!” “Got something to hide have we?” “No, I just don’t like people taking my phone.” “Do you really want it back?” “Yes!” “Then you’ll have to ask for it.” He threw the phone to , who caught it with one hand and put it in his back pocket. “Guys, this isn’t funny. There’s one of me and five of you. I’m outnumbered.” “Look, if you want your phone back, you can take it, I won’t try and stop you.” I held my hand out expectantly and he looked at me blankly. “Get it yourself. I didn’t say I was going to hand it to you.” “You mean out of your back pocket?” “Yeah, is that going to a problem? Think of it this way…at least it’s not in my front pocket.” “Ew, , you’re just sick! Has anyone ever told you that?” “Yeah, your brother tells me every day.” I pushed him playfully as he laughed. “I’m not joking, you get the phone yourself, or I keep it forever.” “How about you keep the phone and I beat the crap out of you.” “She will do it! Just give her the phone , or she will break your neck.” “She’ll have to catch me first.” With that, he set off down the road, still holding my phone. “ ! That’s not fair, I should be the one getting the head start, I’m the girl.” I handed my bag to and ran off after .

As soon as he was within sight, I knew that I’d have to push myself even harder to catch up with him. I don’t know where I found the extra speed, but within seconds, I was close enough to launch myself at him. I wrapped my legs around him and ruffled his hair. “Did you miss me?” “How the hell did you catch up with me?” “Honestly? I have no idea.” “Looking for this?” He held my phone up and I took it from him. “Thank you, but for making me run all that way, you can give me a piggy back home.” “Well, I’m planning on just standing in the middle of the road, so feel free to stay where you are. I can’t guarantee your safety though.” “You’re kinda weird too. ever tell you that?” “Oh, yeah.” “Cool.” I let go of him and stepped back onto the pavement while he continued walking in the middle of the road. “ , please stand on the pavement. The road is for cars, you’re not a car.” “I’ll be fine.” “No seriously, move. Please.” “I said I’ll be fine. I can hear the cars coming, I’ll move if they threaten to run me over.” “ ! MOVE!” I ran at him again, practically rugby tackling him to the floor as we landed in a heap on the opposite pavement. “I just saved your life, you owe me big.” “I had it covered.” “Really? So why did I have to push you out of the way?” “Because you were talking over the car?” “Likely story!” We were still on the floor when the other four caught up with us. “What is going on here?” “I just saved his life.” “Correction! You nearly killed me, then saved my life, then nearly killed me again.” “Whatever!” “Er…yeah, we were thinking was there any particular reason you are lying on the floor on top of him?” “Aside from the fact you want to…well, we’ll leave you to fill that in.” “Yes! I saved his life.” “She stopped a car hitting me and nearly broke my back. That’s not saving my life.” “Hang on, were you implying that I want to have sex with him? Because just for the record, I don’t.” “Then why did you say yes?” “I was answering your question you muppet!” “Yeah yeah, heard it all before. Just save it until we get home next time please. This is a respectable neighbourhood.” “ , I do not want to have sex with him!” I hadn’t realised how loud I was shouting until one of the neighbours opened their window. “Then don’t, but for the love of god stop telling us about it!”

Part 3

At that moment in time, I could have died of embarrassment. I would never be able to show my face in this neighbourhood again. “ , you are so not funny.” “Oh, I’m finding it hilarious.” “Well, could you at least restrain your laughter until I’m out of earshot?” “Fine, whatever.” I walked in through the front door, making a point of holding the door open for the other guys and slamming it shut in ’s face. “Think of it as payback for laughing at me.” “Yeah, but I have a… , where’s my key?” “I don’t know. Check your pockets, it may have dropped out when you were laughing at me.” I held his keys up and stuck my tongue out at him as I walked away. “ , you can’t leave me out here!” “Watch me!”

After about half an hour, I finally took pity on him, considering him to have learnt his lesson. I unlocked the front door and stepped aside to let him in. “You know, I could be really mean and tell a certain someone you like him, but I’m not going to for now. I want to watch you squirm, but believe me, I will get you back for making me sit outside my own house looking like a complete loser for half an hour.” “ , honey, you look like one anyway.” “ ! Can you come in here for a minute please?” “Don’t you dare! I take it back.” “Yeah, what?” “Help us with the drinks while calls some of her mates round.” “Are you sure that’s a good idea? They don’t really like you much.” “Yeah, that’s a good point. Looks like it’s just us then. You up for truth or dare?” “Do I have a choice?” “No?” “Then lets go.” We carried the drinks into the living room and settled down on the carpet. was sat in front of the telly, gazing at it in awe. “Wow, your telly is huge. It’s bigger than all of mine put together.” “Are you playing?” “No, I’ll just sit here and watch the telly.” “Fine. Who’s going first?” “As the only girl, I say I should spin.” The bottle span round and round for what seemed like an eternity before slowing to a stop pointing at . “Truth or dare?” “Dare.” “Well, I’ve done my part. You guys can take it from here.” leaned over and whispered something in his ear. “I am not doing that!” “It’s that or the other thing.” “Fine! , will you go out with me?” “Yeah, just tell me when.” Everyone looked at me in shock and nearly choked on his drink. I think it’s safe to say they weren’t expecting that answer.

I asked you out for losing truth or dare
The guys were cracking up, ‘til you said yeah

“Excuse me?” “I said yes, on one condition. I get to choose where.” “Yeah, sure. Wow, I didn’t see that one coming. , can you get me a stiff drink please. I don’t think this one’s going to do the job properly.”

We arranged to meet up and go out later that week. I don’t know why, but I was really nervous about it. I’d never been nervous about going on a date before. Mind you, I’d never been on a date with one of my brother’s best friends before. It was bound to be weird. I was spending more and more time in the music room with the guys at lunch, and I have to say, they are the best people I’ve ever known. Even if they are a bit mental. I’d only seen once since our last argument, and I had the feeling that she was going to be on the warpath. Which would have been fine, if , , , and weren’t going to get dragged into the argument. I didn’t want them getting involved, because this wasn’t something they were used to. It’s part of my everyday life. Well, it used to be, until I opened my eyes and realised that it wasn’t the kind of thing I wanted to be associated with.

hasn’t stopped going on at me about that night since it happened. He walks around the house humming the wedding march to himself, which drives me up the wall and he knows it. It’s not like me and are going to get married after one date, is it? It’s not even a proper date, he only asked me out because he got dared to. God, why am I stressing out about this so much? I think he’s cute, but I don’t even know him that well. He could turn out to be some kind of serial rapist. What am I thinking? He hangs out with my brother! Ok, so he’s a bit weird, but no-one’s perfect, right? Argh, I’ve only got another two days until we go out and I am seriously bricking it. What if I say something stupid or he doesn’t like me? It’s no good asking , he’s too busy teasing me to care about anything I have to say. I can’t ask any of the other three either, because they’ll tell .

The next day in school was a joke and a half. I was late to the music room, so they all decided to play a trick on me and hide. There was a note on the door saying they’d gone home for lunch. I ripped it off the door and screwed it up, throwing it aside angrily. I was almost at the end of the corridor when I heard the door open and turned around to see coming out. “You gits! You said you’d gone home.” “Gee, was right, you ARE gullible.” “This was his idea?” “Yeah.” “I am going to kill him. I will rip him apart piece by piece if I don’t get a good enough excuse for this.” “Come on, we need your help.” I ran back over, throwing myself at him. He wrapped his arms around my waist and spun me round. “You know, you’re so much nicer now you don’t hang around with those snobs.” “You think?” “I know.” “Thanks .” “No problem babe.” was probably my next fave after . He was just so funny and just genuinely a really nice guy.

Part 4

Pinch me, is this real?
I'm on a one way ticket out of loserville
Now I'm off the social flat line
Things are so good that I'm
Taking down my star trek shrine
And you're more than just my valentine
You're my ticket outta loserville

That day finally arrived. I was dreading it and looking forward to it all at the same time. Thank god it was a Saturday. That gave me enough time to have a lie-in, wash my hair, blow dry and straighten it, pick an outfit, do my make up and annoy . That was actually my favourite part of the weekend. Annoying my brother is something that takes a long time to perfect, but once you get it, it is so worth it. You can start by taking his hair straighteners away, that always pisses him off. Serves him right though. I swear he spends more time on his hair than I do. “ , phone!” “Yeah, in a minute.” “No, now! I’m not making wait for you.” “Alright, I’ll take it upstairs. Put the phone down.” I waited a few seconds before I heard ’s voice on the other end. “Hey, what’s up?” “Nothing, I’m just getting dressed.” “He doesn’t want to know that.” “ , I told you to put the phone down!” “Sorry.” “Are we still on for tonight?” “Yeah, of course.” “Ok, cool. I just called to find out what time you want me to come and pick you up.” “Whenever’s comfortable for you. I’ve only got a few more hours of annoying to get out of my system.” “I’ll pick you up at 7 then.” “Ok, I’ll see you then.” We said our goodbyes and I put the phone down. “ !” “What?” “Come up here for a minute please.” I heard him run up the stairs and knock on my bedroom door. “Bye , I’ll see you tonight. By the way, can we get married and have kids.” “Shut up. It isn’t like that.” “I heard you!” “I told you not to listen. You know I hate it when I can’t even have a conversation without you being a nosey little bastard.” “Not my problem.” “Make it your problem! Now get out, I need to get ready.”

at 6.50, I was ready and waiting downstairs. As it got nearer to 7, I could feel the butterflies in my stomach multiplying. I’d somehow managed to convince to go away and not embarrass me, but I was sure I could do that all by myself. The doorbell rang at 7 on the dot and I jumped a square mile before composing myself and opening the door. “Do you want to come in, or are we going straight away?” “I guess we could go now. I’ve managed to avoid the ‘keep your hands to yourself, she’s my sister’ speech from , I don’t want to jinx it.” “Cool. Bye freak!” “Whatever, loser.” I pulled the door shut behind us and we set off down the road to the cinema. “So, just out of interest, what made you say yes.” “I figured it couldn’t hurt. If I’m going to be friends with you guys, I might as well get to know you better, right?” “Are you planning on going on a date with all of us then?” “It depends on how many of you ask me.” “Ah, so I’m just the lucky one that got in there first.” “I’m joking. I don’t know, I guess I said yes because I wanted to.” We got to the cinema and bought our tickets. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I’m scared shitless of horror movies, but I figured he’d protect me. After all, we were on a date.

“Don't listen to what it says.” “It?” “We won't be dealing with Emily tonight.”

“AAARRGH! God, do they have to jump out like that?” I screamed and buried my head in his shoulder for what must have been the millionth time since the movie had started. It wasn’t my idea to go and see The Exorcism Of Emily Rose, although I had to admit it was a good movie. Apart from all the scary crap. “Are you ok?” “Yeah, just a teensy bit scared. I’m not a particularly big fan of horror movies in a dark place.” “Why didn’t you say anything before?” “I like the movie, it’s just scary that’s all. I promise.”

After that minor disaster at the cinema, the rest of the evening went surprisingly well. We went out clubbing after, which was actually a lot more fun that either of us had expected. is quite the party animal. You’d never have though it looking at him. He’s like the quiet shy kid that sits at the back of the class and does exactly what he’s told. In fact, it went so well, we arranged another date when he dropped me off at home. Unfortunately, caught that bit of the conversation, so I’m now his number one victim again. I don’t think I’m ever going to hear the end of this. You’d think he didn’t want me to be happy and enjoy myself. I just hope he doesn’t tell any of the other’s back at school on Monday. I don’t think I’d live it down for a few centuries. Not because I’m embarrassed of , because I’m not. I would just prefer to keep my relationships private, because that’s just what kind of person I am. If I believed it was anybody else’s business, I’d tell them myself.

On Sunday, I got woken up by a very pleasant, but entirely unexpected phone call from . I was still recovering from our little party last night, and my head was pounding. Let’s not mention the lack of sleep I got punished with. I don’t understand how he could have gone to bed at about 3am and woken up at about 7. more to the point, I didn’t understand how he could be so hyper. I spent about four hours on the phone to him before started complaining that I was being a phone hog, so we said our goodbyes and I went back to sleep. I was asleep so quickly, I didn’t even have time to hear calling and telling him all about what had happened last night.

Part 5

“ , I understand we have ourselves some lovebirds in the group.” I sighed and pushed my sunglasses up my nose. It was the middle of winter, so I must have looked like a right freak wearing them ,but they were helping to cover the dark circles under my eyes. “I have no idea what you’re talking about .” “A little birdie tells me you and are a little bit more than just good friends.” “That birdie wouldn’t happen to be called , would it?” “Well? Is it true?” “You know is full of crap. Yes, me and went out on Saturday, and yes we’re going out again tonight, but it’s still early stages. I’m keeping my mouth shut on the matter, and I’d appreciate it if you did too.” “You have my word.”

After almost a week of practising, the guys finally felt confident enough they could play the song without any mistakes, and I volunteered to listen to them during our lunch break. I sat down on one of the empty desks, swinging my legs back and forth as they set up the instruments and got their parts ready.

She gives me butterflies
Says I'm not like all the other guys
Doesn't care what car I drive
She still enjoys the ride
When I got to sleep I know
That you'll be there tomorrow
And it gives me vertigo
It was just a week ago that

“Wow, guys, that is sounding really good.” “You think?” “I know.” Me and said that so often, it was like our own little catchphrase. It was weird that he hadn’t like me at all when I first came to sit with them, and in the space of two weeks, we’d grown so close he was practically my other brother. Even though I don’t have one, but you know what I mean.

Over the next few weeks, I couldn't believe how much my life was changing. I finally knew what it was like to be in love with someone, and for them to love you back, and it was definately worth waiting for. Despite all of that, there was still something nagging at me. A small, almost irrelevant afterthought that wouldn't let me completely relax around and be who I wanted to be. that little afterthought was . As someone I had formerly considered to be my best friend, I had to find some way of sorting things with her without compromising my relationship.

If only things were that easy. It seems she didn't agree with what was happening to me. in her words, I was 'turning into one of the social rejects' and she refused to be friends with me until I had 'sorted it out' and broken up with 'that sad loser'. There was no way I was sitting around to listen to her talk about my boyfriend like that. I did the only thing I could think of at that point. I punched her, hard. And got suspended for my troubles. wasn't very happy. Actually, neither was . The only person that supported me on it was . I'm surprised me and him aren't going out, we're that alike. He's kinda cute too. just don't tell I said that. he gets kind of jealous.

From that point on, there was only one thing that was going to help me salvage my friendship with , and that was breaking two hearts, and being miserable. I didn't want to do that, so I decided that I was just going to ignore her and try to forget about the situation. I didn't need friends like her who wouldn't appreciate my choices in life because they didn't fit the rules. screw the stupid rules! I wasn't in the mood to be moulded into something I’m not.

Part 6

After a long time considering what my next steps should be, I realised that there was no way I could continue being popular if I didn't make up with . Reluctantly, I headed over to her table on my first day back at school. "Can I have a word please?" "You've come to your senses then?" I didn't know what to say to that, so I remained silent. I hated to admit it, but I needed her on my side. "I'm sorry for hitting you, I don't know what came over me." "It's fine. I always knew the real would come out sooner or later. It was just a matter of time before you realised that things were going nowhere with freak boy." She had got the wrong end of the stick, but I wasn't about to tell her that I hadn't broken up with . I'd be out of the group as fast as I'd been accepted.

I hadn't even realised I'd fallen back into my old routine until I overheard a conversation he was having with . As soon as he realised I was listening, he pulled me to one side. Instead of greeting me with a kiss like he normally did, he just stood there looking at me with a disappointed look on his face. "What?" "You don't even know, do you?" "Know what? , what is this about?" "It's about us . You've gone back to them, and you're treating me the way you did before we started going out. I don’t like it, and I refuse to be the butt of your jokes. You're not the I fell in love with, and until she comes back, I can't be with you." "So what are you saying?" "I'm saying it's over." "Are we breaking up?" "I think so." "Oh. I'm sorry." "Whatever. I really couldn't care less anymore. You've hurt me as much as I'm going to let you. It's stopping here." He spun round and stormed off, straight to the rest of the guys. I stood in the middle of the corridor alone, looking over at who was now comforting and wouldn't even look me in the eye. I'd really put my foot in it this time, and I wasn't even sure why.

I asked you out for losing truth or dare
The guys were cracking up 'til you said yes
Pinch me, is this real?
I'm on a one way ticket out of loserville
Now I'm off the social flat line
Things are so good that I'm
Taking down my star-trek shrine

" , you're going to be late for school." "Bugger off . I'm not going in today." "Yes you are! Come on!" He popped his head round the door. "Go away!" I turned my back to him and looked at the random pictures stuck on my bedroom wall. One of me and stood out and I pulled the covers over my head. "Why don't you want to go in today? Is it because of ?" "No! I have an English essay in today and I haven't done it." "Oh, really! What's it about?" "The romantic poets and their influences." He sat down on the edge on my bed and pulled the covers away from me, holding up a pile of paper. "Would that be this essay?" "Ok, you got me. I don't want to go in because I can't face . Happy now?" "No, not really. , do you like him?" "You know I do." "Then just tell him you're sorry and take it from there." "And what if he doesn't want to listen?" "I'll make him listen! , please. I've had enough of watching the pair of you moping around when it's so obvious you belong together. Just stop being such a stubborn headed pig and speak to him." " , if I want your advice, I’ll ask for it. Can you get out now?" "Not until you say you're coming to school." "Fine, I'll come. Now, if you don't mind, I need to get dressed."

I didn't know why the hell I was listening to him. was probably still hurting, he wouldn't want to see me, let alone speak to me. " ! Come on!" "Ok, keep your hair on." I ran down the stairs, grabbed my bag and walked into the landing, where was waiting. "Wow, you look..." "Different?" "Yeah. But in a good way." "Cool. Let's go." I looked down at myself. This was going to land me on a lot of trouble with the teachers and with , but I was past caring. All I wanted now was to get a second chance with .

"Oh, my god. , what are you wearing? And what have you done to your hair?" "A t-shirt, combats and converse. I dyed it black." "Yes, I can see that! Why? You look like one of them!" "Good! Because I am one of them. All you know about me is what you've seen since I joined. I only did that because I was sick of being the victim. This is who I am, and I'm proud of it. If you don't like it, you know where you can stick it. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got more pressing matters to deal with." " , wait up." " ? What about ?" "What about her? I'm sure she'll cope fine without me." ""Thanks." "If you're looking for , he's by the swings. Said he didn't feel like doing the song today." "Thank you. I'll see you later." I ran off towards the swings. was sat on his own, just staring into space. He didn't see me coming until I was standing right in front of him. "What do you want?" "You. And a chance to say I know I’ve been such a bitch to you, but I’m sorry and I love you." I saw the smile playing on his lips as he stood up. "Welcome back, . I missed you like mad." He pulled me into him and pressed his lips against mine.

You blew me out on a Sunday night
You were bored to tears pretending
Knew what you wanted and I'm nothing like the guy in your happy ending
Well you were wrong to lead me on
Now in the night I wake up screaming
Where the hell did I go wrong?
Where's Scotty when you need him?

He came round to ours that day after school to practise. , and came round as well. I think they preferred it when me and weren't speaking. At least then they could practise without having to stop every two seconds because he was too busy looking at me and screwed up his parts. " , I mean this in the nicest possible way babe, but can you get out please. You're distracting him and we are never going to get this perfect if he can't get through one song without mucking up." "I'm sorry guys, I'll just sit here and you won't even know I'm here." "Yeah, we will. Sis, it's only for another half an hour or so. Please?" "Ok, fine. I’m going to go and make you something to eat, because you'll probably be hungry when you're done." He tried to hug me, but I shook his arm off and walked out.

" , I think you've upset her." " , go and see what's wrong with her." "Are you joking? He'll be gone for ages. , you go." "Why me?" "Because she'll open up to you. isn't serious enough, and she doesn't know that well." "Alright, I'll be back in a minute." I was stood in the kitchen, looking through the fridge when came out of the garage and walked over to me, wrapping his arms around me. I turned around and hugged him back, desperately trying to hold the tears back. "It's ok, he's only thinking of the band. We all love you to bits, we just need to concentrate. He'll come out in half an hour to apologise." "You think?" "I know. Now come on, stop crying and make me some food." I laughed and wiped my tears away. "you'd better get back or they'll have a go at you too." "Not until I see a smile on your face." "I'm fine. Seriously, ." I gave him another quick hug.

"What the hell does he think he's playing at?" " , calm down. It's just a hug." "Yeah, a very long one. With my girlfriend." "She's upset, he's only being nice. Just let it go." "Who are you trying to kid, . You've seen the way they are, always hugging and flirting." "It doesn't mean anything! Who's she with? Her and are mates...admittedly, they're very close, but it's just friendship. Get a grip would you?" Their conversation was interrupted by who walked back into the room. "She's fine, just a bit upset because she thinks you're in a mood with her ." "Cool. I'll speak to her later." "What's going on?" "Nothing!" "Am I missing something here?" "No, nothing." "Actually, yeah. I was just saying that you and are being very touchy feely." "You think that me and...God , what do you take me for? Yeah, she's gorgeous, and if she was single, maybe I would, but she's not, so I wouldn't." "Sorry, man." "I can't believe you'd think something like that. I'm not that heartless. Besides, she wouldn't look twice at me, she's that besotted with you." "Guys, can we save this disagreement until after we're done please."

Pinch me, is this real?
I'm on a one way ticket back to loserville
Heading for the social flat line
Things are so that bad
I'm dusting off my star trek shrine

As promised, about half an hour later, all five of them filed out of the garage one by one. walked straight over to me, pulling me in for a kiss. "Food's in the kitchen guys, go help yourselves." I laughed as they all rushed off, leaving me and alone in the living room. "What's wrong?" "What makes you think something's wrong?" "You've been really quiet since you came out of rehearsals." "It's nothing, I just don't see the point of rushing off when I could spend some time with my beautiful girlfriend." "Aww, that's really sweet. But if you're hungry, go and get some food before they eat it all. I don't mind." "Ok. I'll be back in a minute." I sat down on the sofa, waiting for them to finish eating.

After about ten minutes of noisy chewing, it went silent, leading me to the conclusion that the food was gone. Sure enough, they started appearing one after the other. went to sit on the sofa next to me, but then suddenly changed his mind and sat on the other sofa instead. sat down next to me and wrapped his arm around me. I noticed that he and weren't really speaking, but I didn't know why. "I'm going to pick a movie for us to watch. , can you come and help me please?" I saw him glance over at before replying. "Er, I'm alright. Get to go with you." "I'm asking you, and that means now!" He sighed and got up, following me up the stairs to 's room, where all the DVD's were neatly stacked.

I shut the door behind us and turned to face him. He wouldn't look at me and pretended to be looking through the films. " , what's going on?" "Nothing." "See, that's what said when I asked him, only I don't think it is nothing. You've been at each other's throats all day, and you've barely said two words to me. Spill!" "He thinks there's something going on between me and you." "You put him straight though, didn't you?" "Yes, and he won't listen to me. He's convinced that you're cheating on him because we spend so much time together and we're so close." "That's ridiculous." "I know that! Where are you going?" "I'm going to sort this out."

" , is what just told me true? That you think me and him are going behind your back?" "It just seemed that way. You spend so much time with him, and after we broke up, I thought maybe..." "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you sound? You can't even trust your own girlfriend. What kind of relationship do you expect us to have if you don't trust me?" "I do trust you! I'm sorry, ok. I thought that there was something going on, he put me straight, end of." "It's not though, is it? You've been giving him death glares all day. Are you saying that I can't have any male friends just because you don't like me being close to them?" "No! I don't care who you're friends with, as long as you're happy. But you can't blame me for getting the wrong end of the stick. Some of the stuff you write about him!" "WHAT? YOU READ MY DIARY?" "I DIDN'T MEAN TO, IT WAS JUST OPEN." "SO YOU THOUGHT YOU'D READ IT? GOD , WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?" "I LOVE YOU! THAT'S WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME! I LOVE YOU AND I THOUGHT I WAS LOSING YOU!" "WELL YOU HAVE NOW, HAVEN'T YOU? YOU'VE BLOWN IT! JUST GET OUT!" " ..." "Leave it . I want him out." "That's a bit harsh, isn't it?" "It's fine mate, I'll go. See you later." I fell back onto the sofa as he walked out, his head hanging. Why did love have to hurt so much. was the first to react, sitting down next to me and wrapping his arms around me while I cried. "It's ok, let it all out."

I spent the next lord knows how many weeks moping around in my room. I wouldn't leave the house. I just didn't want to face . That's the point I really knew. I was hurting this much because I loved him. I wanted to go back in time and take it all back. I didn't really care that much that he'd read my diary. I didn't even care that he'd accused me of going behind his back. All I cared about was the fact that he wasn't here and I was miserable as hell. None of the guys came round for rehearsals either. They all met up at 's instead, just to keep me and from snapping at each other. I missed them all so much. The house was eerily quiet without them laughing and mucking about.

" ?" "Yeah, I'm upstairs ." I heard footsteps on the stairs then a brief pause before my bedroom door swung open and he stepped in, tiptoeing round the growing pile of clothes scattered on the floor. He sat down on the edge of my bed and I turned to face him. "God, , you look awful babe." "Thanks!" "You know what I mean. Why are you doing this to yourself? It's bad enough seeing wandering around with his head in the clouds. I don't need it from you when I get home." "Well I'm sorry for feeling a bit hurt that my own boyfriend didn't trust me." "That's not why you're hurting. You're hurting because you want him back and he's not here." "Since when did you become my therapist!" I instantly felt guilty for snapping when I saw the look on his face. "Sorry." "It's fine. Just come downstairs for a bit and eat something." "I'm not hungry." "Then drink something." "I've already drunk something." I indicated the empty bottles scattered around my room. " , alcohol doesn't count. Now come on, ten minutes." I muttered something under my breath as I dragged myself out of bed and followed him down the stairs.

I was only halfway down the stairs when I heard voices coming from the living room. "Steve? What's going on?" "Nothing. and came round, they wanted to see you." "Why?" "I don't know, something about missing you. Can't imagine why." "Ha bloody ha. Move out of my way." I pushed him to one side and rand down the stairs, shouting 's name as I did so. He turned around and smiled when he saw me practically flying down the stairs, holding his arms out for a hug. "I'm so glad you guys came to see me." "Well, we missed you, so we figured if coming round here was the only way we could see you..." "Is it just you two?" "Yeah. was busy and wasn't sure whether you'd want to see him, so he's at home." "Oh. Never mind, you guys are here. Can we watch a movie?" "Sure. I haven't seen..." "I'm picking! I know what your taste in movies is like ." I ran up to my room and picked up the DVD case, before running back down the stairs and putting git into the player. "Oh, God, not Snatch again. We watch that every time we come here." "It's a good movie. And besides, the guy who plays Turkish is FIT! Now shut up, it's starting." "But I don't..." " !" I sat on his lap with my back to the telly and placed a hand over his mouth to stop him talking. He pushed it away and carried on talking. "Can't we pick next time. I know this movie off by heart now." " , shut up!" And that's how the conversation carried on. I never did get to see the movie.

I woke up the next morning on the sofa, sprawled out on top of . No, nothing kinky! We just happened to fall asleep like that yesterday after about 4 hours of arguing about the movie being good or not. Naturally, I won the argument, because being a girl, I can use my body AND my brains to get what I want. doesn't have brains, so he can't really use them. "About time you woke up. I was contemplating chucking a bucket of water over you." "Feel free. I'm up." I held back the giggles as me and filled up the bucket and carried it over to the living room, emptying the contents over . "What the... ! !" "What's wrong?" "Don't play innocent with me missy. Tipping a whole bucket of FREEZING water over me. Not nice!" "I'm sorry. , stay away from me. I'm warning you, I have just woken up, don't cross me. !" I screamed as he hugged me tightly, trying to push him away as my t-shirt slowly got soaked. "That was pure evil! It wasn't even me, it was 's idea. I just helped him carry the bucket." "Like there's a difference. If I catch a cold..." "Stop being such a sissy. You can borrow some of 's clothes while yours dry off. Come on." I took his hand and led him up to 's room, pulling out a dry t-shirt and a pair of jeans. "Get changed and stop complaining." "Turn around then!" "Uh no! You'd perve over me if I was getting changed." "That's different!" "How?" "It just is!"

Eventually, I turned around and let him get changed in peace, neglecting to mention the fact that I could see him in the mirror. That boy seriously needs to go on holiday, he's paler than I am. And that's saying something. "See, that wasn't so hard, was it? Leave your stuff on the heater, it will dry off soon." "It had better! They're my favourite jeans." I jumped on his back and made him give me a piggyback down the stairs. "You are so dead if you drop me!" "You deserve it!" "I already told you, it wasn't me, it was..." I cut off as we reached the bottom and I saw standing there with a look of confusion on his face. let me go and I stepped on the floor, not meeting 's eye. He simply turned around and headed for the front door and I bit my lip as I looked over at . "Don't stand there looking at me. Go after him!" I nodded and ran out after , following him down the road barefoot.

Part 9

As we walked back in we were met by three expectant faces. "What?" "Oh, come on . Put us out of our misery. Are you guys together or not?" "Yeah, we are." "Finally! God, you're like yo-yo's...up and down all the time. At least you finally saw sense." "Why are you so happy? That means that rehearsals are going to go back to how they used to be." "He's..." " !" "What? He's happy because..." " ! Treading a very fine line here mate." "Oh, for pete's sake. The only reason is so happy you two are back together is that he placed the winning bet, so he gets all the money." " ! You weren't meant to tell her you prat!" "You guys were betting on how long it would take me and to get back together?" "Well...not exactly. We were betting on how long it would take for you to give in to her. She's bloody scary when she wants to be." "Thanks!" "I mean that in the nicest possible way sis." "Yeah, I'm sure. Anyway, I just came to pick up my phone, so if you're done with the interrogation, we're going out." "Out? At this time? You'd better be back by lunch, I'm starving." "Then order a take out or something. I'm not your slave." "But..." "No buts. I'm going out, end of discussion." I grabbed 's hand and practically dragged him out of the door.

"I can't believe they were betting on us! We're not that predictable are we?" "I dunno." We carried on walking towards the park, ocassionally muttering obscenities about the other three...we still didn't know if was involved. "Hey, . I heard you were still a bit of an unsolved mystery. Did they find the missing part of your personality?" "I don't know . Did they find the missing part of your brain? You'd have thought something that big would be quite easy to find." "You bitch! I made you popular. I made you who you are." "No, you didn't. You tried moulding me into something I'm not. This is who I am." "What do you see in him? You could have had it all, . You've blown all my hard work. Do you know what I had to go through to make people like you?" "Evidently you put more effort into that than your own life. No today? Oh, that's right, I forgot. He dumped you! Whoops, my bad." "When did you become so heartless?" "I've always been this heartless. You were just always in my good books before. Get this into your head . I am with . I love him. I am going to stay with him regardless of what the rules are or what you think. It's called having an identity. Try it, it's fun."

My blood was boiling, and I was about two seconds away from reaching breaking point. I think sensed that and pulled me away from the argument. "Calm down, babe. Don't let her get to you." "She's not. I really can't be bothered wasting my time with her anymore. She's nothing but a stupid airhead bimbo who's got no friends and no life. That's why she used me to try and manipulate people into liking her." "Well, it's not working very well, is it? I don't like her, none of the other guys do, obviously didn't. She's got no-one." Up until that point, I'd been jealous of . Of her popularity, her looks...everything. Now, I saw that she wasn't all that. If you removed the tough outer shell, she was no different to you and me. She was an insecure person who put up a front to try and disguise herself. I didn't envy her anymore. I pitied her.

Despite kicking up a fuss about being 's slave, I still made sure I got home in time for lunch. I knew he wouldn't have bothered oredering any take out because he knew I'd give in and come home to make him some food. I always did. He was my brother, I felt responsible for him. The fact that I always had to cook for his friends too didn't bother me. I actually quite enjoyed it, especially when they got off their arses and came to help me out. Like they did today. " , where do you want these eggs?" "Just leave them on the side. Just make sure you don't leave them ou..." I cut off as two eggs rolled off the kitchen table and landed on the floor with a splat. A very red faced looked up at me and shrugged. "I'm sorry, I didn't know thay were going to do that." "It's fine. ! Go and buy some eggs from the shop please." "Why? What happened to the ones we had?" " ." "Oh, right. I'll be back in ten minutes." I picked up his wallet from the side and walked over to the kitchen door, waiting for him to come back. "Have you guys seen my... oh cheers babes." He took the wallet from me and kissed me on the cheek before running back out again. I shook my head in amusement as I watched him.

I walked back into the kitchen to find standing in the middle, looking down at his feet in disgust. " , what the hell happened in here?" " dropped the eggs. Here." I threw him a damp cloth. "What's that for?" "To clean the floor. Like duh!" "I don't see why I have to clean it. I didn't make the mess." " ! Just do it, or I'll make you wash the dishes as well." He carried on mumbling ot himself as he cleaned up the mess made by the eggs. "All I wanted to do was eat." "Well, then you have to help out. I'm not cooking for six people, washing the dishes and clearing up after you lot. I'm your sister, not your housekeeper."

Part 10

I went upstairs, shutting myself into my room. A few seconds later, there was a knock and came in. "What do you want? I'm trying to work." " , put that book down for a few minutes and talk to me." "What?" "You and ." "What about me and ?" "What's going on?" "Nothing. He's a mate." "What about downstairs?" "Nothing happened." "Yeah, because I walked in. What if I hadn't walked in when I did? What if had walked in?" "I don't know ! It's no good talking about if's and but's. Nothing happened, don't drag this out." " I am being serious. You know what is like, he'll pounce on anything with a skirt and a pulse. You and are good together." "You think I don't know that?" "Then don't blow it. He's my friend." "And I'm your sister. Whose side are you on?" "This isn't about taking sides. It's about making you see that you're in the wrong." "But I'm not! For the last time...nothing happened with me and . I don't want to talk about this anymore." "Why are you being so touchy. Anyone would think that you and did more than just nearly kiss." "I don't need this from you as well . I said I don't want to talk about it, so unless there was anything else, I have work to do." I turned back to my text book, pretending to be reading through it, while all I could think about was what had nearly happened downstairs. I would have put a stop to it even if hadn't walked in. Wouldn't I? After a few minutes, he gave up and walked out, shutting the door behind him and leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I was so confused. I'd always thought was cute, but I'd never really seen him as more than just a friend until tonight. That little 'moment' we had before walked in had really messed up my mind. It was no secret he liked me, he'd even pretty much told me to my face. Up until tonight, it had never even crossed my mind that I could feel the same way. So now that left me with a bit of a dilemma. Did I just block tonight out of my mind and try to get on with my life or did I talk to about it to try and make some sense of the situation. I opted for trying to forget about it, which I would soon find out would be harder than I'd first imagined. Every time I saw , I just kept picturing that night. I got all these flashbacks of things that we'd done together, just the two of us. I couldn't remember ever having done something that hadn't put a smile on my face. I tried acting normal around him, but it was getting harder and harder to control the urge to just kiss him. I have to admit, I did wonder what it would be like. Maybe I'd be disappointed and realise that was who I was meant to be with. Or maybe I'd enjoy it, and then I'd be completely torn between two guys.

"Hey guys. You here for rehearsals?" I counted to ten to try and control my breathing as I stepped aside to let them in and brushed past me. I flinched at his touch and closed the door, following them into the garage where was setting up. He tried to catch my attention, but I wouldn't let myself meet his eye. As he walked over to me, I busied myself tidying up the area, pushing past him to get to the kitchen. He followed me out and grabbed my arm, dragging me out of earshot. "Stop it." "What?" "Avoiding me." "I'm not avoiding you." "Yes you are. You've walked in the opposite direction whenever you see me in school, you don't answer my calls. Is this about the other night?" "However did you guess?" "Don't get sarcy with me. We need to talk about what happened." "No we don't. Nothing happened." "But it would have dine if hadn't walked in, wouldn't it?" I didn't answer, looking down at my feet. "Well?" "Probably, I don't know . Just don't make me talk about this, please." "What are you so scared of? finding out?" "There's nothing to find out! We nearly kissed, but we didn't. That's all there is to it. Just drop it would you?" I didn't mean to snap at him. I was just so scared of losing control.

He didn't try and talk to me about it again for the rest of that week. I think he was probably just scared that I'd snap at him again. We tried our best to act normal so that wouldn't pick up on the increasing amount of tension between us, put two and two together and end up with five. Only, I wasn't sure that it would be too far from the truth. The more I thought about it, the more I convinced myself that if hadn't walked in, we would have ended up kissing. And judging by the look in his eyes that night, it wouldn't have been just a peck either. What scared me the most was that despite being in a secure relationship, I would have let him kiss me. Not only that, I would probably have kissed him back.

was really careful not to leave us alone together. That was probably wise. He must have seen the lust in my eyes every time I looked at . There was no running away from the fact that I wanted him. That night had completely changed our friendship in my eyes. Being 'just friends' was no longer good enough. I just couldn't risk taking it any further than that. Not now, not ever. It would really hurt for a start.

"Sorry, is this a bad time?" "No, I was just in the shower. What's up?" My knuckles had gone white from where I was gripping the towel so tightly. "Relax, would you. I'm not going to rip it off you or anything." Well that was certainly good to know. That wasn't the reason I was holding it though. "Look, I can't take this anymore. I've had enough of you avoiding me, and I think we need to sort this out before realises that something's not quite right. There's only so much acting I can put up with." "Look, what happened was a mistake. We were just caught up in the moment, it doesn't mean anything." "Yeah, that's what I was going to say. I mean it's not like anything happened, right?" "Yeah, exactly." "Well, I'm glad that's sorted out." "Me too." "Friends?" "Yeah, of course." "Cool. Anyway, I'd better go before gets back and all hell breaks loose. I'll let you get back to your shower." I walked him to the door, breathing a sigh of relief. At least that was all sorted now. At least, I thought it was. "Oh, screw this! , I don't think it was a mistake, I've been wanting it to happen for ages." I gulped as he turned around, not giving me enough time to react as his lips slammed down on mine. After a few second, he pulled away and turned back to the door and opened it, saying goodbye and leaving. Just like that.

Part 11

Almost as soon as the front door clicked shut behind him, I snapped out of my daydream. What had just happened? He couldn't just kiss me and then walk out, it wasn't fair. I picked up the phone and shakily dialled his number. "Hello?" "What the hell was that about ?" "It was...well, I'd have thought that was pretty obvious." "No, not really. I'm going out with one of your best friends. You had no right to do that." "No right to do it because you're going out with one of my best friends or because you're scared of what will happen now?" "That's just a stupid question. I'm not even going to answer that." "Whatever. Look, you can lie to yourself all you want, but you knew it was going to happen." "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not the one lying to myself ." "Then what was that night in the kitchen about? You were up for it then. What's changed?" "I wasn't 'up for it'. You were the one trying to kiss me." "Yeah, and as I recall it, you didn't exactly slap me round the face and storm off. Come on, admit you wanted it to happen as much as I did." "I am not having this conversation with you." "Scared the truth will come out?" "And what exactly is the truth. Come on, fill me in . I'm dying to know." "I'm not saying you don't love . Any idiot with half a brain can see that you do. I'm just saying that there's more to us than meets the eye. I like you, and even though you're in denial right now, you like me too. It's that simple." "Yeah, in your deluded world, maybe." I heard a key in the lock and jumped. " , I'll call you back later. 's just come home, I can't talk now." I put the phone down and walked towards the stairs.

"Who was that?" "What?" "You were on the phone when I came in. Who was it?" "Oh, it was just . Wanted to know if he'd left his straighteners here." "Is everything ok?" "Yeah, why wouldn't it be?" "I dunno. You just seem a bit on edge, that's all." "Yeah, the hot water ran out just as I got in the shower. Always the way. Anyway, I'm off to get dressed." I breathed a sigh of relief as I walked up the stairs into my room. This wasn't going to do me any good at all. There was no way in hell I could keep this a secret for long, would definately find out sooner or later. When he did, I was in deep shit. He was already on my case about that night, if he found out that something had actually happened between me and today...well, it was my head.

" ?" "Yeah?" "Is it ok if the guys come round tonight?" "All of them?" "Well, I can't just invite some of them. Why?" "Oh, no reason. It's just, mum won't be happy if you lot muck the house up." "It's fine, they're housetrained. I think." "Yeah, it's fine. Why are you asking me?" "I just thought, what with things being so awkward with you and right now, you wouldn't want to spend too much time with him." "Oh, it's cool. We're sorted now, it's all good." "If you're sure." This was going to be the real test for me. Could I get drunk out of my brains and control my words and actions, or was everything going to come out tonight? It was time I picked between them. Did I go for , who I loved, and he made me feel safe, or did I go for , who was fit as fuck and made me laugh? I was running out of time.

That evening, me and were getting all the alcohol ready for when the guys came round when the doorbell rang. "Can you go, I'm kinda caught up right now." I laughed as I looked over at who was struggling to carry in the crate of beer from the garage. "I guess I can go just this once." I opened the door to be met by and . "Hey guys. Come in. 's just getting all the booze out, he'll be here in a minute. Just go straight through, I just need to make a quick call." On my way back down the stairs, I was greeted by a very drunk looking being held up by . "He's completely smashed. I don't know how many wild parties he's been to tonight, but obviously its a fair few. Take him upstairs to chill out would you?" "Why me?" "Because you're already halfway up the stairs." "Oh yeah, great reason. Make me walk down then back up again." "Careful, you don't want him falling back down the stairs." "Sorry, but he's quite heavy. It would help if he was half conscious at least. Then he could walk up instead of me having to carry him up." "Yeah, whatever. just leave him in mum and dad's room, come down and join us when you're sure he's ok." "Oh, so now I have to babysit him as well. Thanks . I mean, it's not like I want to spend any time with my boyfriend or anything." "Firstly, , isn't here yet, and secondly, when he gets here, I will send him straight up to see you."

I barely managed to drag him into my parents' room and onto the bed, slumping onto the floor in exhaustion. "Thanks babe. Now, we can talk." My head shot up to see an very awake and very conscious sitting on the bed looking down at me. "You bastard! You made me practically carry you all the way up here and you're not even drunk?" "Well, I'm sorry, but it's the only way I could think of to get you alone without getting suspicious." "Right. That doesn't quite justify it." "I'm sorry?" A small smile broke out on me face as he took my hands and pulled me up next to him. "Apology accepted, I guess." "Good. I'm a pretty good actor, huh?" "Well, I don't know about that. You must have had plenty of practice, with all that drinking and partying you do." "From what I've heard, you're a bit of a party animal yourself." "Not really." "Oh, yeah? What about that...what was it...table dancing session at 's." "It was the kitchen worktop actually. And it was at your place." "Well whatever. I've never done something that embarassing before." "It wasn't that bad!" "Not from where I was standing. I could see right up your skirt you know." " ! And you didn't think to tell me this at the time." "Hey, come on. I'm a guy." "That's no excuse. I'd have told you." "If you could see up my skirt? I'll bear that in mind next time I decide to cross-dress, thanks babe." "Shut up! You know what I meant." "I guess so." "So, what exactly did you want to get me alone for?" "Work it out." "I don't..." I was cut off by his lips on mine for the second time that day, and this time, I had all the time in the world to react as I pleased.

His hands found their way to the bottom of my top, and tugged at it slightly. I pulled away slightly, pushing him away from him and shaking my head. "What?" "Just don't! Nothing can happen , you know it can't." "It's a bit late for that. It just did." "Look, a kiss doesn't mean anything." "I'm not sure would see it that way." "You can't tell him!" "Why not? I thought it meant nothing." "It didn't. It doesn't. If you tell him, he's not going to understand. He'll think that I lied to him, and I didn't." "But you'll be lying to him now. He deserves more than that, doesn't he?" "What are you saying, we should tell him?" "That's exactly what I'm saying." "He'll kill you. Then he'll kill me. Then he'll bring us back and kill us all over again. He's one of your best friends, this will really hurt him if he finds out about it. Can't we just not tell him, and pretend it never happened?" "Well, we could not tell him, but I think we both know that we aren't going to forget it ever happened. Nobody forced you to kiss me." "If we just avoid each other, it won't happen again." "Yeah, and he'll figure out something's up. We have to tell him." The door swung open to reveal standing there.

"Tell who what?" I looked over at , begging him to stay quiet. "Tell that we stole his hat last week. He's been whining on about it, and we feel kind of guilty about it." "Oh, right. Hey babe." I was greeted with a kiss as he sat next to me, wrapping an arm around my waist. "I thought you were paralytic or something ." "Nah. Ican handle my drink, I just didn't fancy watching that stupid movie again." "What movie?" "Snatch." "Oh, what? They're watching Snatch and I'm stuck up here with you? See ya." I shot up and ran out of the room, missing the first step completely and landing in a crumpled heap at the bottom. "You ok?" I stood up and brushed myself off. "Yeah, I'm fine. Why didn't you say we were watching Snatch?" "Cos we're not. We're watching Dawn of the Dead." " ! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" I ran back up the stairs, screaming abuse at as I walked. All of them knew how much I hated horror movies, and they'd just ganged up on me.

I hadn't even stopped to consider that I had left the two boys i was torn between alone together. It didn't enter my mind that could tell everything and completely screw things up for me. I doubted he would, he wasn't the kind of guy that could stoop that low. I opened the door and sat back down on the bed between the two of them. "Back so soon. Wow, you must have missed us." "Shut it ! You know bloody well why I'm back so soon. Snatch indeed. It's a bloody horror movie and you know how bloody much I bloody hate bloddy horror movies." "Sorry, I couldn't resist. Besides didn't say anything and he must have known 'cos he came from downstairs. So nuh!" He stuck his tongue out at me and I had to hold myself back to stop me jumping his bones on the spot. He was just so...just . That was good enough. He was funny, had a wicked personality, knew exactly how to cheer me up and to top it all off, he was absoulutely drop dead gorgeous. That was what I called a right royal muddle. I didn't have a clue how I was going to pick between them if it came to that.

"What's up?" "Huh?" "You went off into your own little world there, what's on your mind?" YOU ARE, YOU MUPPET! Obviously, I couldn't say that, so I simply shrugged. Just keep it cool. "I was just thinking about that gig we were meant to be going to. I can't wait, it is gonna be so good." "It is, isn't it? Are you sure you don't want to come . I'm gonna feel kinda guilty stealing your girlfriend for the night." "Nah, I'm cool. I can trust you guys. Besides, I could do with a night off. She's a slave driver." "Oh, ha ha! Who does the cooking, cleaning and ironing here? That would be me! I'm sorry, I must have spent so long telling you that you're useless, I forgot." "Sorry, babe. We appreciate it really. Especially the cooking." "Yeah, I figured. So, what are we going to do while they're watching Dawn of the Dead." "They're watching that? Oh, cool. I'm gonna go and join them. You don't mind do you?" "Would it make a difference if I said yes." "Not really." "Go then. Me and will just have to find a way to amuse ourselves while you're gone." "Yeah, whatever. Love you, bye." And he was gone. Leaving me alone in a room with the one guy I really didn't trust myself with right now.

"Well, thanks a lot for sticking up for me . One hell of a boyfriend you turned out to be." "Sorry babe. I love you the way you arem you know that. I just don't want another argument or another fight. It tears me apart everytime something goes wrong with us. I don't know about you, but I've never felt this way about anyone before. It scares me sometimes that you and the others are so close. Especially . Don't get me wrong, I do trust you both. It's just, I've seen the way you look at him sometimes - the way you used to look at me. I don't want to lose you because I do love you, even if i don't show it much." "Aww, , that is the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me. You're not going to lose me you muppet, I love you too. knows the score, it's just a bit of harmless flirting. It won't lead to anything." I hugged him, mouthing sorry to , whose shoulders were slumped and he looked a bit dejected.

"Well, I'm glad that's all sorted out now. God, it's like watching Trisha with you lot around." "Shut it ." "What?! Well, it is!" "You're a loser. Have I ever told you that?" "Every day sis, you tell me every day." "Well you are. Please, shut up, for my sake and the sake of everyone's sanity." I screamed as he got me in a headlock and threatened to ruffle up my hair. "Don't you dare! You know i will kill you if you touch my hair . Let me go!" " , a little help please mate?" "What am I doing?" "Mess up her hair, she won't kill you for doing it." "No, but she might mess up mine." "I'll mess it up if you don't get her!" "OK, OK. Jeeze." I continued screaming at the top of my lungs as he stepped towards me and quickly ruffled my hair. " ! That was cruel. I can't fight back here!" "Sorry babes. You were kind of asking for it. Not a single hair out of place? I'm sorry, it had to be done." "You guys are just plain evil! Picking on me because I'm the only girl." " , i think we've established that you're more than capable of fending for yourself. Lets not go back there. Agreed?" "Yeah. Tell to let go of me."

merely nodded at my slightly annoying brother, who instantly let me go. I straightened out my hair, running my fingers through it to get it back in place before looking up at . "Oh, no! I made him let you go! , don't do it, I helped you. Don't eve...whoa!" I giggled as he backed into the sofa, falling onto it and not being able to get back up in his panicked state. I quickly ran over and threw myself onto the sofa on top of him, pinning him down with my body weight and ruffling his hair up. "Ok, that's enough. I can't breathe ." I stopped and looked down at him. He was breathing heavily and his face had gone red. A few strands of hair fell into his eyes and I brushed them away. almost forgetting that there were other people in the room as his eyes met mine. coughed, and I instantly snapped out of my trance, getting off and running up to the solace of my bedroom. I really couldn't trust myself around him. I'd almost kissed him infront of the other four, there was no way I could be alone in a room with him anymore.

Part 16

It was only the second day of our little 'experiment' and I was starting to realise that it wasn't such a good idea after all. I knew very well what I needed, now all i needed to figure out was what i wanted. It felt different waking up in the morning and realising that wasn't going to be there, but it didn't feel wrong. I knew i loved him, these feelings i was having for were just my version of a schoolgirl crush. i tried to convince myself that i didnt need to see him everyday, but i'd gotten so used to having him around. it was like that with all five of them, rehearsals at our house was a regular thing, and i loved messing around with them. i think i wasn't the only one to notice that me and messed around together a lot more often now we were technically 'together'. every single practical joke we played was joint, every time something went wrong, we'd seek comfort in each other's arms, we spent all the time in between practise together, sharing kisses and cuddles on the sofa. i could see 's heart break a little every time he saw us, and though he tried not to show it, i knew he regretted his decision.

i overheard a conversation he had with earlier today, and its been playing on my mind ever since. He sounded...not upset as such, but pretty cut up. "I can't do this anymore . i can't watch them together, it's tearing me up inside. i know it was my idea, but she's having such a great time. what if she realises that it's not me she wants to be with. i don't think i can deal with that." "mate, chill out will you. she won't pick him. she likes , she loves you. get over it and just pull your socks up, eh? you know how much my sister loves people who moan." "I'm not moaning, i'm just saying. when you fall in love, you'll understand." "Jeeze, that's a bit heavy, isn't it? falling in love i mean. you've only been together, what...four months?" "yeah, i know, but sometimes you just know...you know what i'm saying? just waking up next to that person and thinking that you want to stay that way forever." "Ok, firstly, that was too much information. secondly, i cannot believe that you've fallen in love with my sister. mate, that's just wrong!" "Why?" "cos it's my sister and my best friend. dude, these things are just not meant to happen. don't get me wrong, i'm glad they have, i'd rather she was with you than . he's a great guy and all that, but i don't think he's really that into her. i don't see him spilling his secrets to me at any rate. and stop stressing. she knows what she needs, and she knows what she wants deep down. it might just take her a while to realise it, just be patient. she'll come back to you, i know her better than anyone, and she would not give up on you." "thanks man." "Anytime. and ? tell her how you really feel. she'll appreciate it."

I couldn't believe that my brother was telling my boyfriend...well, technically my ex boyfriend, all of that stuff. As far as i was aware, had never been particularly in favour of my relationship with , and he'd not been all that keen on me having anything beyond friendship with any of his mates. We were, after all, from completely different social circles in school. Well, we used to be until i came to my senses. I can't believe i ever thought that pushing my brother away was the right thing to do. Not now we'd gone back to being the best of friends, just like we used to be as kids. i loved that about him, the way he'd forgive me for anything, and the fact that despite everything i'd put him through, he'd never stopped caring.

Part 17

After seeing that hurt look flash across 's face for the millionth time that day, i pulled out of 's grasp. He looked at me slightly funny and i sighed as i nodded in 's direction. "i'll be right back, ok. i just wanna see if he's ok." "babe, i'm sure he's fine. he's going to have to get used to this." "Yeah, you're probably right, but i just want to make sure. i promise i won't be long." I stood up and walked over to before could protest any more. He jumped slightly as i rested a hand on his back. "sorry, i didn't mean to scare you." "it's ok. where's ?" "he's in the living room. i wanted to come and talk to you." "oh? what about?" "this whole thing...are you sure you're ok with it?" "i have to be, don't i? it was my idea." ",i heard you the other day talking to . don't bullshit me. you don't like seeing me with him, do you?" he sighed heavily before shaking his head. "i cant help it. it should be me with you." "you're right. i'll be right back, i just need to tell the good news." "..." "He'll understand."

at least i hoped he would, otherwise i'd be making a pretty big mistake right now. i was playing with someone's feelings, and if i made the worng choices, people would definately get hurt. I couldn't lie to myself anymore though. me and was just a bit of fun. Me and was real. I had to save that before it was too late to go back. ", we need to talk." "this is it, isnt it? the end?" "Yeah. i'm sorry, but i just don't love you enough to keep this going. i need to be with him, you understand that, don't you?" "yeah. i mean, it's been nearly a week since i was 'available'. the girls probably miss me." he managed a half hearted smile, but i knew that it was just for show. maybe had a point when he said that didn't have feelings that deep for me, but at the same time, he still loved me in a way, and me doing this was hurting him. "shouldn't you be getting back? is waiting." "Yeah. ? thanks for understanding." "anytime babe."

i closed the door behind me, feeling a huge weight lift off my shoulders as i made my was back to , only to be wrapped in his embrace before i'd had the chance to say anything. i hugged him back, savouring the way i felt so comfortable in his arms, like it was where i belonged. this was definately going to last forever, or i was damn well going to try and make it. i didn't want to give him up, because no-one else made me feel the way he did. no-one else knew exactly what was going through my mind just by looking at me, and no-one else made me realise that it's not about how many friends you have, or how many people like you. it's about how many people love you for who you are, without trying to mould you into something you're not. for the first time in my life, i felt comfortable in my own skin. i no longer needed all the masks to hide from the world. i was proud of who i was, every single scar, whether it was physical or mental, and most of all, i was happy that i'd foubd someone who felt the same way.